I want my husband/ex back?

me and my husband got married when we were 20 years old and were together for 5 years b4 splitting up 4 months ago. He was mean to me when we first split up as i asked for a divorce and he retaliated by going off with 16 yr old girls to hurt me i think. Then when i found a boyfriend he was asking me back out but i said no at the time but now i really want to be back with him. i spoke to him last night and he did say that he doesn't think he could be with anyone else but me and sees me in his future and we do keep on spending nights together intimately. he says he finds it easier to stay away from me because he is hurt so much but lives about 10 mins up the road from me and said he cant face being back with me right now which i'm fine with. he says he is still angry with me, which i can see, and he never contacts me unless i contact him. is he really hurt or does he just never want to be with me again and is saving me the pain? i can't figure it out. i shouldn't basking strangers